Sirius and Remus: The Paranoid Duo
by MiniBuzzy
Summary: Sirius and Remus are brothers. Then their little sister brings home a boyfriend: George Weasley.


Remus and Sirius sat uncomfortably in the living room. It was 7 o'clock—the time they and Lydia had agreed to meet at-and Lydia still wasn't there. Well, it was only 7:01, but in the minds of Remus and Sirius, that was one minute too late. Sirius was ready to call out a search party.

He cleared his throat and said, "Shouldn't she be here already?"

Remus nodded, "When was the last time she was late?"

Sirius thought for a second and said, "Never."

They locked eyes. Sirius said, "What if he took her and threw her to the Giant Squid?"

Remus replied,

"That's just nonsense. He couldn't break into Hogwarts."

Sirius cut him off, "But he knows the secret passage ways."

Remus had nothing to say to that. They sat in tense silence as the clock on the wall slowly ticked by. There was a loud knocking at the door. Sirius jumped a good 6 inches, and Remus was mildly startled. He answered it and found his little sister there, soaking wet and shivering slightly.

She laughed and said, "Hey Remy! God it's pouring rain out here. Are you going to let me in or what?"

Remy smiled and stepped back to let Lydia in. A red-headed boy followed her, looking for the entire world like he was about to die on the spot. Though Remy had always held a liking for George Weasley, he gave him the fiercest look he could. George peed a little.

Sirius walked up, rubbed his hands together and said, "Hey there Georgie! I was thinking we'd go out for supper."

George nodded and said, "Are we meeting your parents there?"

Everyone's face darkened but his. Lydia muttered, "My parents are dead. You-Know-Who killed them."

George flushed and said, "Oh. I'm sorry."

Lydia whispered, "I was three."

George pulled her into an embrace and said, "I'm sorry."

Lydia nodded into his shoulder and said, "It's okay. I don't even remember it. Remy and Siri were about 15 though."

George put his chin on her head, slightly startled but accepted it when he realized that she was crying slightly. She pulled back and wiped at the small drops of moisture in her eyes. She smiled happily and snickered at her brothers' expressions. Both were looking distinctly uncomfortable about the intimate moment that had transcended between Lydia and George.

Remy was feeling particularly witty and said,"Erm…"

Lydia rolled her eyes and said, "Come on now guys. We were going someplace, right? Remy, Siri, go get your umbrellas. Then come on out and meet George and I in the car."

Lydia's brothers went off, muttering darkly under their breaths. George turned to Lydia and said, "I told you they hated me."

Lydia grabbed his arm and pulled him out to the car, "Relax. It's all just a big show. Didn't you see Remy when he let you in?"

George nodded and said, "Yeah. He looked severely pissed off."

Lydia laughed and said, "That's all an act. Do you want to make this really awkward?"

The prankster in George reared its ugly head as he said, "Yeah. What do I have to do?"

Lydia ran into the car and pulled him in after her. They were lying across the front seats. Lydia was on the bottom, George on top of her. Lydia grinned devilishly and said, "Hands."

George looked at them and said, "What about them?"

Lydia rolled her eyes and put them on her breasts while muttering, "Good Lord George. Do you have a single hormone in your body? Oh… oh yeah you do." George blushed furiously when he realized what that funny feeling down below was.

He said, "Yeah, sorry about that."

Lydia grinned and said, "Don't worry about it. Nice to know I look good." George blushed. Lydia distantly heard the front door slamming.

She said, "Quick. Kiss me."

George shrugged and kissed her. Lydia deepened it and made it into tongue in record time. George's hands grew a mind of their own and started 'roaming'.

The door opened and there was a yelp of, "BLOODY HELL!"

George looked up and saw Remy standing back, massaging his chest where his heart was. Siri looked murderous. George leapt up and hit his head on the ceiling.

Lydia looked innocently up at them and said, "What? How else did you think you were going to uncles in _eight_ months?"

Siri's jaw dropped and Remy actually threw up.

Lydia burst out laughing, accompanied with the occasional unlady-like snort as she said, "You totally fell for that! God, you should have seen your faces. You too George! Come on now guys, am I _that _much of a slut?"

There was an uncomfortable silence, save for George on the other side of the car swearing at the rising bump on his head and at Lydia, who ignored him. Lydia scowled and smacked both her brothers on the arm.

Remy looked up and panted out, "Don't ever do that again."

Lydia grinned and asked, "Oh please. That's like telling you not to change at the full moon. Or telling Siri not to be a womanizer. I was practically raised by you guys. What did you expect?"

Both shrugged. Siri said, "Fair enough."

Lydia nodded and said, "Now that we have that figured out, where are we going?"

_(A/N: So what do you think? BuzzCat wrote this one, and would like to thank her loverly beta Miniflowers for putting up with me and betaing all the crap I come up with. Cookies and chocolate to you all!)_


End file.
